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FLUCTUAT NEC MERGITUR


I have beggined to right an article about my wonderfull feeling in the train on Friday, on the road for my dutch-trip... About how it was beautiful when the train lady talked to me in dutch, how it was nice to meet an other french photographer on the train, and two great Italians girls in my couchsurfer’s house. But this Friday 13th 2015 gonna stay in our History books. -- The shock. It’s difficult to realize... It’s happenned in my own country, in the city were I was born, were most of my friends lives... I was just talking to the Italians girls, that I’ve just met in my couchsurfer’s flat, when I received a notification around 10 pm, about a shooting in Paris -10 deads - I told it loud, but no one paid attention, and me neither, I was thinking about a settling of accounts or something... I couldn’t imagine something else. Not again. After the departures of Italians, when we go back to Frank’s house, he turn on the live TV and I’ve seen my city. -- The emotionnal part I. I’ve heared (in Dutch) familiar words as « Bataclan », « Hopital Pompidou », « Louvre », « Stade de France », « rue de Charenton »...

I have heard a young women crying during a conversation at the phone with a journalist, because she was hiding behind a cadaver... and it probably saved her life. I have seen firemans holding corpses « That’s a human being ! » said Frank. That’s more than 120 human beings now. And the number is growing. Behind the horror of the massacre, behind the shock, I have received messages from people I love, french or foreigners, from the couchsurfer’s that I haven’t met yet... Just kinds attentions, beautiful thoughs and support. It was very warmfull in a such moment. Thank you for that guys. There is also few friends who didn’t answred.

-- What’s next ?


What a great symbolic for the terrorism and what agreat sense of the show with media : - the football meeting was retransmitted on television - and not any football meeting : France – Germany... Two days after the Armistice - touching every point of culture, weakening what is supposed to be friendly moment : a metal concert, coffees and bars, terasses, and a football meeting in the largest France’s stadium... - on a Friday 13th, to increase superstitions « More important the mediatisation is, stronger are their actions» has just said a journalist. To the evidence, nobody cares. I’ve seen the video in live transmission. I didn’t want to but the television wanted to show more each time. And just has Frank said « If we don’t see the images, we are almost desapointed. » Because we live in a global world with internet, we know all and in the moment... Unsane, because this attack was not a reality show, but we were all in front of a screen to live it. Yes we are involved : when the view top is growing on Youtube, you are looking an advertising for the horror, for terror, for terrorism. When people were filming during the attack instead of helping the girl who has been shoot on the sequence, may be there is a bigger problem... -- The emotionnal part 2. As I said, I was in Amsterdam during the attacked, just arrived in my couchsurfer’s house. I have left Paris in the afternoon the 13th. My friends where in Paris and they are my only family. How to describe this... I usually feel home in Amsterdam and in The Nederlands in general, and for the first time, I almost rathered to be home... I felt unrooted. And very angry. I needed to see french people, to talk with them, to sing the « Marseillaise », and to cry with them also. A Friend from Paris was also in Amsterdam so I’ve meet him. We talked about how Amsterdam is a bubble where even with such circonstances, you feel well and peacefull here. Victor was not in Paris neither when the Charlie Hebdo attack happenned. He told me that it was difficult for him to realize the impact. But his mind say the inverse : he’s not confortable anymore with smocking weed in Paris. He had few bad feelings when he did, and it began right after the Charlie Hebdo shooting. I leaved them to there « Body world » exposition that i’ve already seen. I decided to organized a CS meeting place Dam. No one answer or join the event but when I’ve been to Dam square, other people was there. They had bring candles. Well, they have bring light. Being alone under the rain in this assembly was a strange thing to be honest. Hearing the helicopters flying around... I heard a guy about twenty crying behind me. « My father live just near the Stade de France and I’ve so many friends who lived in Pairs, who likes to drinks beers in the 11th arrondissement... ». After few photos of the gathering’s people, I presented myself and talked with him and his friends. They were all french student in an exchange program in Amsterdam. And they all felt as well to came there with a candle. The crying guy was from Nancy and the other from Strasbourg. An other french girl, here for the weekend came with us. She live near Paris and so her friends go in the 10th arrondissement to drink beers too. We talked about how we are scared for the 2017 presidencial elections... How Marine Le Pen can’t be the runner of our country, but we also recognize that such evenment is consecrated bread for her... The French people use to makes amalgams... And we can’t stand that because the problem is not an immigrants problem, or a muslim problem. The issue is about how the fanatics, from everywhere, are using their attacks to grow and get bigger. How they are able to fear people, succeed in killing and be more powerfull each times by using and be showed on the internet and social medias... After the girls from Paris suburb’s leaved us, we decided to leave also, but before we had to sing together. We entonned the Marseillaise with a tremble voice, but for the « Aux armes citoyens », our voices get stronger : we were three and we’ve heard douzain voices singing right behind us...

-- Our identity.

France is strong, France is the land of lights, we have a deep culture and history. A common and strong history with all Europe, Nord Africa, and with the world in general. Sometimes we have done terrible things, sometimes they did, sometimes all sides did. And sometimes, it was a real mess. But nothing is black or white. « Fifty shades of grey », as they say... But we have to remember this more often. Even when the shock is colapsing into a normal life, because the time is running out, we have to remember that we are still fighting for our rights, our democratic ideal. Yes, even in France, and globally in Europe nowadays. But in France we have to fight harder and all the time. For our FREEDOM, EQUALITY and BROTHERHOOD Because this words are our national motto, our identity. And the Paris currency is even more stronger : FLUCTUAT NEC MERGITUR Literally : « What’s floating, never drown » With lot of sadness, but also lot of love, be carefull but don’t be terrorized. -- Justine

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